Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Where's your brain?

You can be good at memorising, have good grades, have a diploma and still be an idiot.

For me, the smartest people are the ones that are humble enough to know that they can still learn.
Teachers don't have a great image on me because most teachers that have taught me believe that they are Knowledge's gift to earth. "We are here to teach! You need to respect us! We know everything and you don't!"
What the fuck.

Respect is earned. Knowledge is vast.
Teachers can teach you the basics, the rest you do yourself if you're smart AND if your teacher is smart, they will encourage that.

Thursday, July 6, 2017

Disconnected

I guess people are just like that. They like having your contact, your friendship, your follow, whatever. They'll like your pictures. Make comments just to look friendly. Follow you every where. Tag you in funny shit. But when it comes to hanging out, there's always someone more important than you.
Like what do I give people too much of my time? Am I annoying? Is it hard to keep a conversation with me? Whatever it fucking is I'm just never gonna know because no one ever fucking tells me so I'd rather just disconnect myself and not go out of my way to connect with people and to make them feel like our world is a little less lonely, goddammit.

Monday, January 23, 2017

Shit to look out for when making friends in the female world.

I'm not saying that you should steer clear of your neighbour when she says you're lucky that your boyfriend bought you brand new Jimmy Choos, but just watch out for the signs.The woman world is crazy. Once things get out of hand, you risk hurting yourself and turning into one of those old, grumpy women who blame men and hate on women while sitting alone with a bottle of wine. Or, if you're a guy in this case, having random kids who's names you can't even keep track of in various parts of the world. Personally, I'd rather work on constructing healthy relationships over mimosas and brunch with the real people.

Here are the main red flags that I've learned to look out for:


1. She gets jealous of everything that's yours.

Jealousy may seem harmless and common at first, but it shows a lot of insecurity, and a friend that gets insecure around you, is no good. Whether male or female, insecure people are mostly around because they want to see you fall or they want to be the one that makes you fall. Just ask yourself where was Brutus when Caesar got stabbed?

2. She keeps the selfies where you look disgusting and she looks great.

A good friend isn't going to post an ugly picture of you if you think it's ugly. The accurate response from a friend when you say you look gross in a selfie, is simply deleting the picture, or keeping it to yourself.

3. She doesn't hesitate to tell you about how her dad is no longer in the family picture.

Family issues, stay family issues. Lending out a hand is always great, but don't let this person continue to rely on you if you're not that close and you wouldn't consider chopping off your ring finger for them. Personally, someone who talked to me about their family, made me think that we were closer than I felt. I felt like family issues became an open topic and made the mistake of opening up to them, big mistake. As I mentioned in my other post, doing a little is a lot for someone with a big, open wound that they continue to pick at.

4. She has daddy issues.


Relating back to #3. It doesn't just mean that someone's dad technically isn't around or that it's just the dad who is the problem, but being unsure of one's place in a parent's heart leads to having to compensate with a place in yours and everyone else's. Also, with no other outlet, you get all their issues, their anger, etc.

5. She immediately wants to be best friends and she doesn't seem to have any other close friends.

Not even just the fact that the spider's web empty yet you seem to be the only one stuck in it. It's okay not to have a big group of close friends, but sometimes people that are too quick to take you in are trying to fill holes that are missing in their own personal lives.

6. "I hate women."


This is also something that I have had to make a conscious effort to avoid saying myself. Just because you've had a few bad friendships, doesn't mean that every girl is out to get you. It also doesn't mean that you need to warn every new friend that you're a tough bitch ready to attack.

7. She acts like she's better than you.


She tries to get closer with your friends, your boyfriend, "your mom loves me", girl, chill your tits. I've only known you for a month. What are you trying to prove? Again, the insecurity thing.
These are also the kinds of girls that tend to criticise everyone. She's really just being critical over herself. From now on, whenever I hear "I heard that .... is such a slut" I take it as my cue to back out.

8. She complains about soooooooo many boys liking her.

"It's because you're sooooooo hot and you keep it real". Remember Regina George when she told her Plastics that she was sooooooo fat? Gretchen was like "Oh my God you're so skinny, what are you talking about?" This is the need to fish for compliments because they're not secure about how they look.  Fishing for compliments works temporarily, but it doesn't fix your ego. And yes, you are the dumb fish if you're like Gretchen. You're not helping. When someone throws you a complaint like this, the correct answer, is the opposite answer. "Yeah isn't it weird? I mean, you're not even that attractive." That's how I got some people to stop complaining about their insecurities. Love yourself for who you are, duh.

9. She complains about people and openly uses the excuse that "it's because I'm pretty and they're jealous".


Although you may know that you're a pretty girl (or you know that she's a pretty girl), there are deeper reasons to why people treat you a different way, and it's definitely not JUST because you're pretty. If someone is mean to you because they're jealous of your looks, they will most definitely not admit that you're good-looking. They will hurt you in every other way by exposing your insecurities before they realise that the problem is really within.

10. She counts everything.

A good deed is a done deed. I mean, if you want it back, did it really come from the bottom of your heart? Doing something for another person should only happen if a) You can afford it and b) You don't expect it back.



You don't need to live by this rules, this is obviously an observation. You don't need to stop being friends with these people, just know when to take your distance. Trusting your gut is very important.

It's not always easy to stay positive in the face of negativity. Letting people know when they have gone too far is how we protect ourselves. A little balance and confidence is all you need to survive the female world and more.

Sunday, January 22, 2017

¿Qué locura o qué desatino me lleva a contar las ajenas faltas, teniendo tanto que decir de las mías?

After a lot of reflecting and two unfinished drafts, I've come up to the conclusion that has always just been an after-thought to big drama explosion fights: You can't fix broken people.

I guess I've always liked being the one that my friends could turn to for a smile or for support although for certain, it never seemed to be enough. I know that I can't fix them, but I felt like, maybe I could be some sort of positive influence in their lives.

It started with making an effort for people that seemed to make an effort for me. I tend to go towards people that are more outspoken, louder or have some sort of influence on the people around them. People that are more upfront. I didn't realise that sometimes, some of these people are in need of another sort of attention.

(Some background about me, my parents are divorced and I've moved to four different countries in my life and not to mention a total of sixteen times within those countries. I'm filipino and a quarter Chinese. Chinese people shun me for not being able to speak Chinese and filipino people call me Chinese. Now I'm in Switzerland and I have to explain how I'm American so, I know all about not fitting in. Not to mention my awkward personality in private school, being the only kid with divorced parents and a stepdad, then switching into a bigger public school, the list goes on... )

Being broken to me does not mean that your family is fucked up or that you've been through a lot of hardship in life, regardless if that is what makes you feel broken. Being broken to me means that you blame the negative events of your life on everyone around you and you walk around thinking that everyone should treat you different because of what you've been through or because of how you feel. Hardships happen to everyone, maybe not all to the same degree, but every person is living something different that does not make them better or worse than the next person.

Broken people aren't easy to be friends with, unless you are okay with being constantly put down or constantly being a cheerleader. They don't have enough ego so they feed on whatever you give them. You can't have a mutual relationship with them because they don't have anything to give back to you, so you're constantly just checking up on them, while they're constantly thinking about themselves. And when they do actually do the bare minimum for you it's "I did so much for you!" but the only reason is because doing a little for you means a lot for them. They don't have the ego to take care of one person, so how can they do it for two?

The only way to help broken people and to keep your positive energy, is by keeping a distance and not getting to close. It's okay. We can't fix everyone without breaking ourselves.

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

It's 12am and..

We're all meant to be at a certain place at a certain time.

I'm meant to be all over the place. Starting in Hong Kong, the Philippines and although I lived in Cali the longest, I definitely did not stay in just one place for over longer than six years (four technically if you count switching apartment complexes).
I knew that I wanted to come to Europe, but lately I keep thinking back to where I really want to be.
I feel as though Hawaii or any pacific island is where I want to go next.

I feel so touched whenever I hear the language. Their dancing makes me want to dance. Their attitude seems to CONSTANTLY be warm like their climate.

It's 12am, the wind is banging against the blinds, my windows are frosty, and I just want to be under the warm sun with nice island music and a Mai Tai or something.